Even in the best circumstances, co-parenting can sometimes be challenging. If you’ve recently been through a divorce or separation, you might be trying to navigate the complexities surrounding this.
In this situation, placing your children’s needs first is a priority. But there are some emotional and practical steps you can take to ensure the wellbeing and stability of your children.
ESTABLISH CLEAR COMMUNICATION CHANNELS
While you might not be living together anymore, it’s still vital to maintain effective communication between you and your ex-partner to be able to co-parent successfully. If possible, it’s a good idea to have regular meetings or phone calls so you can address any issues and stay updated on schedules, routines and appointments. Co-parenting apps allow you to manage diaries and share important information so you can both work from the same page.
CREATING A CONSISTENT PARENTING PLAN
A carefully thought-out parenting plan helps minimise any conflicts and provides children with a sense of stability. Key elements might include visiting schedules, holiday arrangements and guidelines for major decisions. In some situations, it might be helpful to get advice and information from specialist family law solicitors to ensure you have a workable plan in place that considers the best interests of your children.
FOCUS ON YOUR CHILDREN’S WELLBEING
During the transition period, your children might find it challenging to process their feelings and understand the new situation. It can be helpful if you’re both able to discuss and agree on ways to monitor and support your child’s adjustment to the new family dynamic. This might include maintaining routines, allowing time to answer any questions and seeking professional counselling if needed.
MANAGING CONFLICT RESPECTFULLY
It can be very challenging to deal with conflict during a separation but it’s beneficial to all parties to try and be respectful to one another, especially around children. This means refraining from arguing, placing blame or bad-mouthing the other parent. If you’re struggling to maintain amicability, it might be worth exploring conflict resolution strategies. These can include mediation, counselling, choosing your battles and focusing on the long-term goals.
ADAPT TO CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES
An element of flexibility is needed when co-parenting so be prepared to revisit and amend your parenting plan if and when needed. Consider what’s in the best interests of your children in the long-term and try to stay open-minded when discussing schedules. It’s also helpful to be able to adapt in the case of emergency situations or last-minute, unavoidable circumstances.
While there might be difficulties during your co-parenting journey, it’s wise to remain consistent, allow your children to express their needs and try to be understanding of all parties. Sticking to routines can help make the process as smooth as possible and lets the children know what to expect from their daily lives.